Nesting time [A time where OCD tendencies are allowed]

So it's true that there is such a thing called nesting. It started last weekend for me and my poor bathroom got the brunt of it. :} It's as if I can't get nor keep things clean enough! How bright can a white countertop shine?! How many times can carpet handle being vacuumed? How many times can clothes be folded before they begin to unthread? Hahahah Apparently not enough in my eyes!! However I do think it's healthy to nest. It has given me daily peace of mind knowing little Noah and I have an overly-clean abode to come home to. For anyone who knows me and my OCD tendencies, don't be frightened for me. I've got the cleaning under control. :}

Happy nesting!! ❤️

Pre-labor anxiety...or excitement?

I had my first official check up with the doc as we count down the days til D-Day.  On Wednesday I was 90% effaced and 1cm dilated.  At first I was absolutely ecstatic.  I mean that just means I'm getting closer to D-Day right?  But then later that night as I was going to bed, it really hit me and I was filled with anxiety.  Can I do this?  Am I strong enough to have a natural birth??  What if I hemorrhage or pass out from the pain?  Am I crazy for even having these thoughts?  Can any of you mothers out there relate with your first delivery??  Or should I be excited?  I know without a shadow of a doubt that my baby Noah is healthy and strong and all will be well with him, I just worry that I won't be strong enough.  Maybe when D-Day actually arrives, all this anxiety will turn into excitement?  Either way, I know I need to get my emotions in check because the only thing worrying does is bring negativity and uncertainty into my life and that always results in me getting sick from a weakened immune system because of all the worrying.  So I am going to do my best to not worry but rather prepare.  My doula and long time childhood friend is so very encouraging and supportive and I know that once the day is here she along with the rest of my support system will give me all the encouragement I will need to have a successful delivery.  I just wish I knew where this doubt came from.  I've been so very, almost eerily, calm this whole pregnancy and have taken pride in my inner strength and desire to have a natural birth, so when this icky doubt crept into my mind, I was shocked that it was so overwhelming.  I guess only time will tell.  

I'll check back in soon...

Liss

Almost there...almost...there.

Four weeks and three days left until D-Day and it can't come soon enough.  They tell you it will be tough, that your body won't be your own and that lack of sleep will become the norm, but no matter what they tell you it can never truly prepare you for the challenge of pregnancy.  Feet hurting from swelling even when off your feet, eating every two hours 24 hours a day and only taking naps in between when possible, morning sickness that lasts long into the wee hours of the night even in the 3rd trimester, the inability to hold it when a sneeze or little cough suddenly comes on, the endless worry of whether or not your feeding your precious little one enough and of what they need whilst in the womb, the loss of appetite, and the list goes on.  They also say though, that the minute you hold your little one in your arms for the first time, all of that goes away; that one look at your precious baby makes it all disappear.  I cannot wait for that day to come.  To hold my little Noah in my arms is the only thing that keeps me focused.  Parenthood is no joke, but it has proven to be, at least for me, one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive.

Cheers to mommy-hood...:]

Liss

Sacrifices make the journey worthwhile

It's been a little while since I've written.  This third trimester has proven to be no easy feat.  But with all of my struggles I've come to realize something.  My struggles are more like sacrifices.  Some are unintentional, but all are worth it.  Let me walk you through a typical day for me as of recent.

1:36 AM - No that is not a typo.  At 1:36 AM (give or take a few minutes) I wake to the joyous yet painful emptiness in my stomach that is filled with Noah's jabs and kicks, roll out of bed and I make my way downstairs for meal number 1.  Because I have morning sickness I can't eat much of anything that is delicious.  So I stick with a PB & J (sometimes half sometimes full) and a banana or bowl of cereal.  Now keep in mind that before pregnancy I was that individual who ate 5 or 6 smaller meals throughout the day who didn't mind because my metabolism was much faster that way.  Only problem is, is that now being pregnant my stomach is still the same size as it was pre-pregnancy only more smushed up into my lungs and therefore doesn't allow much food in at one sitting. So after I choke (and I literally mean choke) that last bite of food down I brush my teeth, drink some water and gag for a couple minutes all the while smiling (a trick my sister shared with me that most times keeps the gag reflexes from turning into the real thing) and lay down in my carefully placed sandwiched pillows where I battle with heartburn for about 20 minutes before I finally fall back asleep.

3:04 AM - 1 hour and 28 minutes later I'm up again to Noah's not so gentle movements and that empty void inside my stomach.  Now sure, I can look at this positively and think hey, at least my metabolism hasn't slowed down, but let's be real.  That's not going to happen at this point.  It's ok if you're laughing.  I would be too if it wasn't 3:04 in the morning.  So I hobble downstairs for another round of cereal and sandwich, brushing of teeth and heartburn.  Oh but wait, something new presents itself.  How about a round of drainage in the back of my throat that has a taste that resembles rotten milk and some type of ingredient in bread that makes it smell the way it does on your hand for hours after eating.  So I endure an additional round of gagging and forcing the food I worked so hard to get down, well...down.  Some where after 3:30 I fall asleep.  

5:34 AM - Thank the Lord above I made it past two hours.  No really.  I have prayer and thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me the little extra sleep.  I talk to Noah for a couple and downstairs again I go.  This time I can't fathom the thought of cereal and a sandwich or banana so I opt for a corn dog.  Completely against my plant-based diet but at this point eating period is more important than what I'm eating so I get it down... barely and pray that the corn dog alone will hold me over for at least an hour.  Brush teeth, gag, wrestle with the pillows to get perfectly nestled in bed as I hum a lullaby to lull Noah to sleep...... and then I sneeze.  Now for any of you moms out there you will know my pain and frustration here.  All bets are off at this point in the pregnancy.  So I get out of bed, clean up, change my pants (sorry if that's TMI, but all dignity went out the window the first time I burped in public with no realization that it was even coming) and re-wrestle the pillows in bed, hum another lullaby and eventually fall asleep.

This goes on for the rest of my slumber or lack thereof and well almost every night and all day.  On the nights I only wake up once or twice,  I literally cry out thanks to the Lord above.  This may seem a little dramatic, but listen when you've been doing this for three months, it starts to wear on ya.  And sure I know that this is perfect practice for when Noah comes and I have to feed him every two hours, but I hope and pray I can do only that and not have to worry about feeding myself.  I would love to just get up to feed him, hold him and love him sans self feedings.  I'd give anything for that at this point.  So I wake up again at 7:11 AM and again at 9:04 AM and decide to just stay up.  The nausea isn't going away anytime soon, so I might as well get up and get the day started.  Maybe by staying busy I won't think about how if I never see a corn dog or PB and J again it will be too soon.  Wrong again.  Between school, lash extensions and other miscellaneous errands, the nausea continues to consume my thoughts and the saliva builds in my mouth and I work so hard all day every day to keep food down so that Noah gets the nourishment he needs.  Add in a change of pants and random drainage a couple times a day with all of that and you have got just a glimpse into an average day of my life.  Now that you have a decent picture of that I'd like to flip sides and let you in on a little something I've realized in all of this.

All of this craziness??  It's simply preparation.  All of these struggles and trying hours in the middle of the night and throughout the day, yes are struggles and yes they have tried me in ways I never thought possible.  But they're also simply preparation for what is to come and honestly...that's a gift.  Now don't send me to the loony bin just yet, I'll explain.  I truly believe that our Heavenly Father has us go through hard times, struggles, trials or whatever else you want to call them, for a reason.  It is to allow us to sacrifice our temporary happiness and comfort for someone else's happiness and comfort, sometimes eternal happiness.  Every time I struggle to eat, or sleep or sometimes think, is just another opportunity to sacrifice my temporary comfort to allow my sweet little Noah the comfort and nourishment he needs to allow him to become that much stronger.  And isn't that what parenting is all about?  Sacrificing our lives, ourselves, for our children's happiness, better future and needs?  I believe it is.  And I'm pretty sure the Lord knows exactly what he's doing by giving me these opportunities now while I prepare for Noah's arrival.  It's so I get enough practice of putting my needs aside for my son's so that when he arrives, I'm already living for him.  I didn't realize just how selfish I used to be.  Well I take that back.  I knew I was a bit of a me-monster, but I still tried to serve others as often as I could.  But now?  I don't know.  Something has changed within me and I feel like I have this divine purpose and understanding of God's plan and that I need to put my needs aside so that I can love, nurture, provide and rear Noah so that he has the best chance at happiness in this life that he possibly can.  

Now I can't promise that I won't complain (always silently never out loud...don't want Noah to hear the negative comments:]) but I can promise to be thankful and remember that these next 7 weeks are simply weeks of opportunities to prepare myself for motherhood.  And let's be honest, how could I not be thankful with a healthy boy growing inside of me??  I'd be nuts not to.  So to all you women out there struggling in your pregnancy, remember that theres' a reason for it all.  We may not see it yet, or want to, but when we do, it will be magical and all of it will make the journey absolutely worthwhile.

I can't put into words how grateful I am for the amazing blessing it is to be a mom... Noah's mom.  But I totally get the cliche now.  Parenthood is hard...but it really is worth it.

Cheers to all you mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors and any of you who look after these sweet little spirits.  Heavenly Father is aware and grateful for your daily service and sacrifice to put your needs aside to ensure their happiness.

Love, 

Liss

30 weeks and counting...

Doc visit went well today. I went for a 3D ultrasound but Noah was being shy and didn't want to face the right direction. So I'll have to wait til he's born which is soon so I can be patient. :] His heartbeat was 143 and all my levels are great. Still dealing with a bit of morning sickness and up all night having to eat but I'm grateful he's growing and healthy. Couldn't ask for more. ❤️

How am I not sore?!?!

Ok, so since I've been dealing with the wonderful morning sickness between school and work, I haven't made it to the gym, just doing workouts at home.  The other day however I tried a workout (see pic below) and to my surprise after a half hour of intense muscle burn and sweating, I wasn't sore.  Usually I'll be the sorest the second day after a workout, but there has been none!!  Am I just getting amazingly strong??  hahah No.  All I can think is, that strength training with weights (my arm/back/chest workouts include weights) is the only way to go.  Just because I'm carrying around an extra 30lbs, doesn't mean that using my own weight with lunges, squats, etc., will have the same effect that weights will.  After all, I squat 50lbs at the gym and 100lbs at the leg press.  Not sure what I was thinking.  Time to get back into the gym.  Somehow, some way, I have to get back in there.  Home workouts are NOT the same.

This is the leg workout I did with no soreness to follow... I'm sure if I added weights, I'd be sore.

Can't wait for a real leg day this week!

Hope everyone has a blessed Sunday...:]

Road blocks at 29 weeks....can't slow this Mama down! ;]

I'd like to take a minute to vent.  I promise it will be quick.  So I was met with a road block today and honestly it took everything in me to be the better person and not lose it.  I have had a wonderful run this pregnancy hormonally and emotionally, but today was a first.  I literally had a conversation with myself to talk myself down from the anger I was feeling.  After all, let's be honest, Noah doesn't need to feel the effects of that.  It's my job to protect him.  So I did and I conquered.  I met that road block face to face and thought, self, this person is not worth losing even a second of your happiness.  So what if their poor choices now cost you a credit ding and $127.  It's to be expected of this person.  They will never change and always be the same.  But me?  That I can change and that I can control and I can be the better person, forgive and move forward.  So that is what I am doing.  Living....and learning.

Speaking of living... I am now in the third trimester.  Yes, the THIRD!!!!  Awwww... the beautiful third trimester.  (I'm hoping the more I say the third trimester magically I'll feel like I did in the second.  No science or theories behind it, just desperation.) The sweet glow from the excess sweat of walking up a simple flight of stairs or from losing the lunch that never sounded good in the first place.  hahahaha...  Yeah, this is looking a lot like my first trimester.  However, that just means that little Noah is healthy and growing quickly.....RIGHT?!  It better.  :]

Here I am at 29 weeks!!  Next Wednesday is time for Noah's close up!  I can't wait!!!

I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing the amazing feeling it is to feel your little one kick and move inside you.  It's unlike anything you could ever imagine.  To know that you created life and feel them move is a feeling I will never forget or reserve in the back of my mind.  With every kick, stretch, hiccup and flip, I get the biggest grin on my face and think about how blessed I am to have the chance to be a mother.  Yeah, silly people will try and get in the way of your happiness and slow you down, but this Mama won't let anything get in the way of her and her little bundle of joy.  Motherhood is amazing.  How could I not protect such a precious gift from God?

Mommy loves you Son...to forever and back...

Food is overrated....yes even the healthy kind

So I'm curious.  Is it normal to wake up every hour to eat?  I've experimented with eating all different kinds of food before going to bed, and still, my third trimester proves to be a real challenge. lol  I've even tried eating out and let me tell you from someone who has been eating healthy for so long, DON'T TRY IT.  hahahha... Seriously though, it just made me sick to my stomach so I may as well stick to my little meals 24 times a day.  My mom was kind enough to remind me that the quality of the food I eat is more important than the quantity.  I gotta hand it to her, she may be on to something.  Moms really do know what's best sometimes.  In any case, I can not wait for the day that my nightly feedings are just to feed my little one and not myself.  I honestly can't wait to skip meals.  lol  Seriously, I'm so over food.

Well, I'm going to try and approach this a bit more positively and just remember that ultimately, my son is being fed and that is really what matters.  He is more than worth every bit of pain, nausea, illness and exhaustion I've experienced.  Hands down.

Here's to motherhood and all that comes with it!

I See the Light!! Can I get a whoop whoop?!?! :)

So after two weeks of death bed status I see the light at the end of the tunnel....I...am... alive!!  I'm not 100% back to good health but man I'm close enough to be able to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for giving me the strength beyond my own some days to take care of myself, for blessing me with friends and family members that stepped in and made some of my days a little easier and MOST OF ALL for protecting my sweet little boy from harm from whatever the heck that was and all the tylenol and antibiotics I had to consume in a short period.  It's crazy being a mom.  I would be so miserable from what I was going through, but none of it came close to the worry, fear and heartache I felt thinking what would happen if any of it harmed my son.  I'm supposed to provide a safe womb for him.  I'm grateful he's still strong and healthy and I can only pray that the rest of my pregnancy will be illness free.  I'm also grateful for a wonderful boss who held my position at work even though I missed two weeks and for incredible professors who worked with me on missing assignments and attendance.  I truly am blessed far more than I think I deserve some days, but I won't argue with the man upstairs.  :)

On a lighter note.  I just want to thank all of you who for your prayers, your love and support!  You all rock and I know Noah thanks you too.  :)  Yup, he just kicked with approval of said gratitude.  :)

Ok, so here I am at 27 weeks...can't wait for November 6th when I get to see what this little guy looks like!!  Yup, that's right, it will be time to get my 3D ultra sound.  I'm going to do my best to fatten him up (and of course myself) for his close up.  Anyone have any suggestions for food choices??  I still don't have an appetite which started even before I got sick.  I have to literally envision myself eating something and enjoying it, wait a half hour to work up the strength to actually eat it then hope I keep it down...hahah...pregnancy rocks.  No really, it does.  :)

Loves,
Liss

Trying to find the light in the dark...

First, I'd like to apologize for not getting on recently, posting progress pics and being MIA.  An unfortunate turn of events has landed me in bed.

Second, I'd like to vent for a bit if that's alright.  As I lay in bed for the sixth day in a row, yes sixth, and endure the pain (and when I say pain I mean the bone-crushing/throbbing/sharp-stabbing/toothache times ten kind of pain) that has taken up residence in my left sinuses/mouth/jaw (not to mention the nausea accompanied by the occasional revisiting of foods I eat earlier in the day), I started to think ok.  Melissa you have two options.  Give in to the pain and let it rule your life, or accept the pain and continue with your life.  I know the latter is the obvious choice, but I just have to say that this is the hardest and most painful thing I've had to go through in my life yet.  Not to mention, being a single parent doesn't add to the "fluff", but rather makes it a bit more difficult just having the strength to go downstairs and refill my water or make food.  I'm not trying to come off as complaining, but dang it sometimes I don't want to be the strong one.  Has anyone ever felt that way?  I've tried every remedy known to man (I think) to get rid of this pain but nothing is kicking it for good.  It will disappear for a few hours (which I am SO grateful for at this point) but then it's right back.  How does something like this take hold of an individual who was being so proactive at being healthy?!  I was working out regularly, eating healthy (plant based mostly), taking my prenatals, extra vitamin C and drinking more than a gallon of water a day.  I was on top of the world.  Now, I can barely find the strength to leave my room.  And for anyone who knows me lately, I don't complain often about pain whether it be emotional or physical.  I usually just deal with it and move on.  The more you think about it and put it "out there" the longer it takes to go away right?  Well, I've broken down and I am now voicing my pain.  I know pregnancy is hard and many women get sick during pregnancy but this feels like something entirely different.  Probably because it's happening to me.  Well I have finally hit a wall.  I'm not having the perfect pregnancy, or having it super easy.  What worries me the most is my sweet son's safety.  How do I know he's ok in there?  Am I eating enough even though I can't keep everything down?  Is he getting enough protein?  Is he hurting?  Can he feel pain?  I've tried not taking any tylenol today to spare him a day without it because I felt like I was poisoning him with all the tylenol I've taken this week.  I pray every day, morning and night that he is protected from all this.  I pray he's growing healthy and strong and that this Mama can get better so that I can get back to work and make money for the two of us.  I just pray he's ok.  Please be ok.

Ok, so now that I've complained enough to last me the year, I am going to express gratitude for the things and people in my life who make my life anything BUT hard.

I'm grateful for the gospel and the blessings that I receive every day for living it.  I'm grateful for my Savior and His atoning sacrifice so that I may right my wrongs and return to Him with my family one day.  I'm grateful for my Grandmother and her strength and amazing example.  I'm grateful to my Mom for opening her house to me while I get back on my feet after an unfortunate but for the best situation.  I'm grateful for my brother and his wife and kids for always supporting me and brightening my days.  I'm grateful for my friends and their kindness.  I'm grateful for pain and the opportunity I've had especially recently to learn to appreciate good health.  I'm grateful for trials and the strength and wisdom I learn from them.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to go to school and have a job so that I can better my financial situation for me and my son.  But most of all, above anything else, I am so grateful for my precious son.  For his sweet spirit and the joy he brings me.  I'm honored to be his mother and I can't wait to meet him.  Has this week been the hardest week of my life?  Probably, but I know that one day soon I'll look back on it and know that it made me stronger and helped me realize the sacrifices one makes for their child.  I will be wiser and more compassionate because of it.  As long as I have my son, everything will be ok.

I'm going to get back to resting...or trying to at least...:)

Liss

P.S.  If anyone has ever struggled with this kind of advanced sinus infection while pregnant, I would LOVE to hear about how you got through it.  I'm desperate for hope at this point....

Second round of morning sickness?!?!

Well since I've been working, I've had the wonderful pleasure of dealing with morning sickness again. I'm guessing it's because when I have guests back to back I'm not able to eat like I used to. Once I'm past the starving point I finally get a moment to eat and well nothing sounds good nor settles in my tummy because I've waited too long. My school work has been affected and my health is going downhill. Sowly. Nothing to be too alarmed about, but I can't help but wonder how women do it! How do they work all day, go to school full time and find time to eat, sleep and do everything else they need to? 

I'm going to try and remain hopeful and try and get creative to find ways around all this and somehow not let any area of my life suffer. First and foremost though is the health and safety of my son, then my health then everything else. Anyone have suggestions?? Please feel free to comment if you've found ways to manage or rather juggle it al! :) 

Praying I don't have another night like last night....

Liss

I work hard for the money...:)

So this whole being pregnant, going to school full time and working part time (days I don't go to school) is no funny business.  This week has been a bit different since I've been training.  I've been there every day since Tuesday from 8:30am-6:30pm and although it's been an amazing learning exeperience and super fun, I've experienced some firsts in this pregnancy.  First, was exhaustion.  I had no idea what that meant.  I have been misusing the word for years.  I now know what it truly means lol.. I come home, shower, put my Burt's Bees Belly Butter on, get in my jammies and lay in bed staring at the ceiling.  Since I eat every few hours through the night I've just laid in bed waiting to eat at 11pm so I can go to bed for a few before my next feeding. lol  Exhaustion is..well...exhausting. I've also experienced swollen legs/ankles for the first time the other day thanks to my killer high socks and high top converse (I know...I got style:)) lol... So I switched those out for some low rise nikes and some ankle socks.  Someone at work pointed it out when I was showing them my hair growth (what little I have thanks to waxing!!:)) and they were like oh my gosh you're swollen.  Yeah.  It was gross.  Since I hadn't noticed for half the day, the swollen area above my socks was hard as a rock.  Not sure if that's normal. lol... I'll have to check with the doc when I see him in a couple weeks.  Haven't noticed much swelling since I made the switch, but I'll be honest.  Being on my feet for 10 hours every day this week has been tough.  I didn't think it would.  I don't get a lot of down time, but when I do, I try to put my feet up if I can, even if it's only for a few minutes.  However, I haven't had time, or rather the energy, to make it to the gym, so I'm sure once I hit the gym next week I'll have better circulation.  And starting next week I'll have my Saturdays and Sundays back so I'll catch up on rest then.  :)

So yes, tomorrow is my last day of training and I am so excited!  I have my test out/evaluation and I am confident I'll do well.  Then Monday I start my first real shift!  I feel so grateful, humbled and blessed to have the opportunity to not only work AND go to school, but to have the health and strength TO work and go to school and be able to save and provide for my son.  It's a wonderful feeling and I know I wouldn't be where I am today without the gospel, my faith and testimony and my love for my Savior.  Through Him, anything is possible.

Time for beddy bye...Well, a nap at least.  Goodnight everyone!

Loves to all,
Liss

Bring your child to work day....or week...or the rest of the year...:)

So as I drove into work this morning I thought, man I'm lucky to have my bundle of joy keep me company all day while at work.  Is this how parents feel when they bring their children to work?  :)  I know it's not the same, but I swear I carry myself with more pride, almost purposely sticking out my belly a little more so people can see just how lucky and blessed I am to have my son with me.  As a parent, I'm sure we all worry on a daily basis whether or not we're giving our children everything they need and deserve and whether or not we're keeping them safe from all the yuck in the world, but right here and now and, I feel so blessed and grateful to know that I am able to keep Noah safe from that yuck and the closest to my heart every day and night.  I'm 24 weeks today and honestly being 6 months pregnant is just as if not more amazing than being 5 months pregnant.  It just keeps getting better.  His constant moving in response to me reading to him, singing to him or simply saying good morning when I wake up or goodnight at the end of a long day, is all I need to press forward every day and keep trying to prepare a life that will allow me to give him everything he needs and will need.

Thanks for always keeping Mommy company little one....Love you to forever and back...

Crib...check!

I bought my crib today and can't wait for it to arrive so I can put it up!  (Pic below)  One step closer in preparing for my sweet little one to arrive.  I didn't realize that there were so many options with cribs and mattresses; convertibles, standards, organic, cotton or mini foam mattresses and spring ones, beds that cradle your child and rock them to sleep so you don't have to, and those that leave your child suspended in air hovering inches above the mattress so as to get a true "weightless" feel.  Ok, those last couple obviously don't exist, but come on.  Shouldn't this process be simple?  After all, we already have the joys of getting monstrous in size with an ever running mind and hormones that frighten most small children not to mention what it does to grown men that find themselves in our path of destruction.  For everyone's sake, why not figure out what works best for most infants and make a universal crib.  And then as an added bonus, make one mattress that fits that one crib!  Hahahha... I know, we need to have our million options so that we can feel uber special and unique.  I support that I suppose.  I do like the fact that I got to choose an espresso finish on my crib rather than just white, black, cognac, oak or cherry.  And I love that the crib I chose has the word Venetian in it; sounds and looks so classy.  And I love the fact that the espresso finish will go better with the colors I've picked for Noah.  Oh and I love the fact that the convertible option will allow the bed to grow with him and not cause me to buy seven different beds by the time he's five.  Ooh ooh and I love the fact that I was able to search nine different stores to find the best price that included free shipping and NO tax...Ok, so I AM that Mom after all.  ;)  And I'm dang proud of it.

A round of applause goes out to all you Mommies and Daddies out there that have already battled your way through crib, boppy, bumbo, bouncer, binky and any other kind of baby shopping there is to do.  This parenting stuff is no joke and in all seriousness I thank you for always doing what's needed to find what works best for you little ones in keeping them safe and loved.  You all deserve WAY more credit than you get.

Happy parenting!!

Loves...

Right On Target at 23 Weeks!!

I went to the doctor today and my little one and I are as healthy as can be.  I've gained 20lbs so far this pregnancy which my doc says is perfect.  In fact he said that since I'm so small/petite, it would be A-OK to gain a total of 40lbs if I wanted to.  I have to say at first I thought how in the heck am I going to pack on another 20?  Where will it go?  When will I have time to eat?! And then I remembered oh yeah, that's right.  I get up a couple times a night to feed my face so I'm sure it will be pretty easy to start packing on the poundage.  :)

Noah's heart rate was 154 today and sounded so precious I cried.  I know, I know, I'm so emotional....but how could I not be?!  How could I not cry at the sound of his heart beating within me? How could I not feel overwhelmed with love for my son every time I feel him move? I feel like I'm among the norm.  In fact my hormones have been in check and I might be the first woman to admit that and feel confident that my actions have backed it up. hahah  I don't cry at random tv commercials whilst eating a tub of chunky monkey, I don't run fellow shoppers over with my cart at the grocery store for grabbing the last spicy yellow lentil hummus, nor do I find myself locked in my room playing Celine Dion's greatest hits over and over as I look through old yearbooks, crying over my first lost love.  I don't know if that actually happens with anyone, but shoot, if you did I wouldn't blame you.  Celine Dion has some serious pipes!  I have had some situations that I nipped in the butt the minute I knew it would bring negative drama, so that could be viewed as irrational behavior, but I like to think of it as being oh so wise and not allowing negativity in me or my son's life. ;)  Over the past year or so I've slowly been transitioning into a lifestyle of peace, patience, love, tranquility, compassion, service and continuous self-improvement.  I only listen to classical music or LDS Hymns of Worship on Pandora (this station actually plays other music that isn't LDS, in fact it plays a really nice variety of uplifting music:)), I exercise, eat healthy, do a little yoga here and there, and consistently try to focus on the good and never dwell on the bad.  I truly believe that it has not only helped me, but has created a safe and peaceful home for my son as he grows and develops.  Ok, ok, I'll stop rambling....for my weekly check in....

Next week I'm finally in my third trimester and three weeks following that will be my next check-up.  I get to do the glucose test which I have to admit I'm kind of curious to see how the glucola tastes. lol...  November 6th, however, is a big day.  I'm getting a 3D ultrasound of little Noah and cannot WAIT to see what he looks like.  I need to start packin on the good weight so he can get all cute and chubby for his close up! :)

Life is good...I have so much to be grateful for.  I have a testimony that if you keep moving forward, focus on the good even if you have to search to find even a sliver of good, and never give up, anything is possible!

Loves from Mommy and Noah....

Prenatal Yoga...Yay or Nay??

I just completed a half hour of prenatal yoga and I must say I wish I had been doing this the whole time!  I'm trying a 30 day free trial at DailyBurn.com and it's not too shabby.  They recommend yoga blocks and a bolster which I thought I'd be fine without, but I was wrong.  Some of the poses need the blocks and bolsters to best accommodate the body and growing belly so you're not on your back.  I'll definitely be picking those up as well as a couple more prenatal yoga DVDs to add some variation.  I'm excited to add this to my weekly routines.  I really feel that it will be extremely helpful in preparing for my delivery emotionally, mentally and physically.  After all, natural child birth from what I hear can be a beautiful experience so I want to make EXTRA sure that I'm feeling comfortable with my body, my inner-self and my connection with my son so that it can be beautiful.

Has anyone else done yoga during their pregnancies??  Did it help?  Any favorite poses or DVDs that you recommend?

Hope everyone has had a wonderful start to their week!!

Loves...

P.S. Here's a link to that site in case anyone wants to check it out.  I haven't explored the site quite yet but apparently they have all different kind of workouts on there.

Little Blessings From Above...❤

So as I sit and watch Forces of Nature with my little Noah tucked safely in my womb, I think to myself how much I love this life. How much I'm going to love being a mom. I heard someone say recently that they never get to go out anymore and were pretty much forced into a situation where they had to be with their kids seven days a week. It broke my heart that someone can't grow up enough to see how much of a blessing children are. How lucky they are to have children. They are gifts from our Heavenly Father. Who wouldn't want to be with their children? I get emotional just thinking about holding my son, with his tiny little fingers with dimples for knuckles and precious little toes, his beautiful eyes and teeny nose. I know I've only been an Aunt in the past, but I know how hard it can get and I can only imagine that's its even harder being a parent 24/7, never a break in sight. But I also know that they are a loan from our Heavenly Father and we've been chosen and trusted with these sweet precious spirits to rear, nurture and provide them with all that they need. I know with all of my heart that my son chose me to be his mother and knows and trusts that I will love him with all that I have, care for him, protect him and provide for him. Sure there will be times when I'll need a break, who doesn't? But I know that every time I look at my son I'll be saying a prayer of thanks to my Father above for sending him to me. 

Hold your children close. This life is so short and they depend on us to guide and direct them. To love and protect them. Even if its for a short while. Stop and smell the roses with them. Memories are priceless. 

Here's to you Noah...Mommy loves you and can't wait to meet you...❤

22 Weeks and still going strong!

I had a rough few days due to sleep deprivation and lack of food.  I wasn't hungry because I was tired so anything I ate felt like it was going to come back up:(  And I was probably tired because I wasn't eating enough.  Vicious cycle!  But I've added pasta to my food selections and it has been helping with the constant empty tummy:)  We'll see how it helps tonight during my slumber.  Lack of sleep definitely plays a part in how you feel but let's be honest.  I need to get used to not getting any sleep because once baby boy is here there will be no sleep for this girl!!  ahhahah...  That's perfectly fine.  It's exhausting and being a single mommy will be no easy task, but I know I can do it, I want to do it and it will be oh so worth it.  To hold that little one in my arms will be all I need...

So here we are at 22 weeks!  And I'm still gettin it done at the gym! :)

It wasn't the best lighting and it's nighttime for one of the pictures, but at least I can track my progress.  I'm not getting any bigger muscle wise, however I am maintaining.  My doctor said I really need to focus on gaining so I'm trying to increase my caloric intake and reduce the weight when I work out to try to keep a healthy balance without losing the muscle I've built, but we'll see.  This is all new to me and trial and error isn't exactly an option lol...

Stay strong everyone!  The weekend is almost here!! :)

Epidural?? I'd rather not...

So I have long decided that I'm going to have a natural birth.  I know, I know, I know.  Trust me, I've heard it all from all the women who have gone with the traditional birthing method with epidurals.  But what it really comes down to is what works for me and what I am most comfortable with.  I've chosen to deliver naturally for a couple reasons and not just because I hate hospitals and all of the unnecessary interventions they tend to use, or because of the fact that I hate I.V.s and the meds that course through them that always make my skin crawl, but for the mere fact that one, I don't want my son to experience more intense and longer contractions due to Pitocin, and two, I trust my body to do what it was meant to do, what it knows to do.  Now I know many of you out there are thinking I'm crazy but I have to say this brings me the most peace.  I'm looking forward to my delivery and know without a shadow of a doubt that it will be harder than I can possibly ever prepare myself for, but it's totally doable.  Completely possible.  Now of course if for some reason I end up being high risk, or there are serious complications where it's critical for the baby to come out sooner rather than later, then I will do what the doctor suggests I do.  After all, I'm having my baby at the hospital (my insurance doesn't cover home births), but without interventions like epidurals, Pitocin, etc.  And I know that a lot of times these interventions are absolutely necessary.  I am not knocking the traditional hospital birthing experience, I just don't feel comfortable with those methods.  But I am trying to be proactive by drinking enough water, eating right, exercising and gaining a healthy weight.  My stress levels are almost non-existent which I'm grateful for, but again, I am doing what I need to do to weed out unnecessary stress and complications.  I feel in my heart that this is what I need to do, so I'm following my instincts.  :)

So after meeting with one of my best friends that I grew up with who happens to be a doula (anyone who lives here locally in AZ, message me and I'll get you her contact info:)), I feel even more excited and ready to start preparing myself for delivery mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  She recommended a few books, two of which I picked up today at Barnes and Noble and the other I ordered from Amazon.com.  Included a pic for anyone who wants to check them out.

Here they are:

1. Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon
2. HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method by Marie F. Mongan, M.Ed., M.Hy. (Includes a CD with relaxation and breathing exercises)
3. The Birth Book by Dr. Sears (this one I ordered from Amazon - here's the link since the copy won't cut/paste: http://www.amazon.com/The-Birth-Book-Everything-Satisfying/dp/0316779075/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378788804&sr=8-1&keywords=the+birth+book)



I will be videotaping the birth and no... I will NOT post it for all to see...!  hahahahh Now THAT would be crazy. lol  But I will go back post delivery, watch the video and document the basics with what worked for me and what didn't, how the pain levels were, and so on.  (Baby Noah is kicking like crazy right now...I think he's kicking with approval on this whole idea of natural birth lol)

For anyone who has questions about home births or natural births, I recommend watching The Business of Being Born.  It's a documentary on Netflix, and now has a few more series that they have added to the original doc and it is amazing!  Really opens your eyes to a whole new world that has been long forgotten but seems to be making its comeback recently.  Again, this isn't for everyone and those who are high risk or have other complications, wouldn't be able to go this route.  But it's at least a good piece to bring awareness of what goes on with the meds that are administered both inside the womb with that sweet baby and yourself.  And even more importantly, just make sure you have a plan.  Whether that is to do natural or not, c-section or home birth, having a plan and even a back up plan will make the experience less frightening and will give you the control that you need to have during your birthing experience.  After all...it's YOUR body.  Don't let anyone else tell you what's best for your body.  Only you could possibly know that.  :)  If anyone has an experience of a home, natural or traditional birth they would like to share, please feel free!  I love baby stories:)

Ok, well this Mama is going to bed.  Well, after I feed myself yet again..hahahh...

Goodnight to all!!

LOVES...

Tender moments...

Every morning and night I read scriptures with my son. Yes, I read them aloud so he can hear them in the womb and be a part of the spirit that is felt. :) And I gotta tell ya, I can't go more than five minutes without tearing up. The sweet spirit that is felt is overwhelming and I'm overcome with humility and gratitude that I can share these tender moments with my son even now. 

Life is good... ❤

21 Weeks and counting...!!

I am 21 weeks and 4 days today and am counting down the weeks til I get to meet my beautiful baby boy, Noah.  On this beautifully overcast sabbath day I have reflected on my life and am grateful that out of a dark and chaotic situation, I have been blessed with a gift that has brought me only peace and love;  my son.  I see the world in a different and brighter light.  My desire to serve others has increased and I find myself holding the hope for not only my son and I, but others I know and love.  I have a newfound strength that must only come from motherhood and it has given me the courage to do things I would have never done before.  I have since moved on from that day many months ago that I walked away from what I knew would only bring further pain, and I know that through forgiveness and following the promptings and answers to my prayers that I received and continue to receive, I have been blessed more than I could have ever asked or hoped for...

Just want to give a shout out to those who have been my beacon of light and held the hope for me while I figured things out.  Your love and support and Christ-like examples have lifted me up to a place where I see new beginnings on the horizon that are full of joy, peace and love.

To my sweet son...Noah, Mommy loves you with all her heart...to forever and back.

Beautiful ending...

This has been a beautiful ending to a crazy busy yet productive day. :)  And baby Noah is kicking like crazy right now. (Yes, that's right.  I've come up with a name!  I think I'm going to go with Noah Benjamin Cohee for my sweet baby boy's name.  It just feels right.  For now. :))  hahaha  I've got the beach waves from the soundscape going and all is well.  It's amazing to me how quickly you can jump into the motherhood role.  The love, protective instinct, worry and hope is automatic...at least for me and I understand now why women do this over....and over....and over again.  Well maybe not four times. lol... I have to say my back pain is pretty bad at times, but as he kicks and responds to my voice and the jalepenos I eat (I know, he's gangster...or wait I'm gangster... and he's.. well.. you get the point lol) and the pain is but a mere passing thought.  I wonder how labor would be.  I've seen a few at the hospital and watched documentaries of homebirths and no matter where the delivery is, it looks excruciating!  But then you witness the immediate and overwhelming love and bond between the mother and child and you get it.  You get why they underwent that pain.  To give life to their precious child.  I can't wait for my time.  Only 4 months away!!

As for my gymie gym gym progress posts and what not, the old blog I was posting on was deleted so I will continue, or rather start fresh here.  I'm in the third week of Phase 2 of the Jamie Eason program and will just pick up where I left off on the previous blog.  I apologize for the break up, but it won't happen again.  On here, my very own blog,  I have the comfort of knowing that I will not delete it.  ahahah  So stay tuned for this beast of a mother's continuing transformation!!  I think I may try to post a baby bump progress pic tomorrow and pick up on the work out progress pics next Sunday due to lack of photographers. lol...Or maybe I'll just start doing front pics...eh, not sure.  We'll see how it plays out. :)

I hope everyone has had a killer week!!  Stay strong!!

Goodnight....

Love,
Liss

You Won't Bring Me Down!!

Isn't it funny that when you start succeeding in life and things start falling into place that others around you start to cause drama and try and bring you down to their level?  My heart is full of sadness that those who are trying to bring me down can't see beyond their own misery.  You can't bring someone down to your level who doesn't view the world as you do.  Those who are weak must hang on to those that are strong in order to hold themselves up and normally I would be happy to hold them up, but enough is enough.  I'm living for my son and myself.  Period.  I hope and pray that those individuals who are so miserable with who they are and where they are in life find their way to true happiness;  the happiness that isn't bought with fancy clocks and the latest trends.  I hope they find their inner self and learn to love and accept themselves for who they are no matter what life hands them.  I have by no means lived an easy or glamorous life.  I've made plenty mistakes, some I'm proud of and some I'm not.    Some individuals like to remind me of how I've struggled or lived less than, but their jealousy and hatred only hurts them.  They don't realize that that jealousy and hatred is only holding them back from growing and being happy.  And all of my mistakes?  It's because of these mistakes that I'm so much stronger and wiser.  I have compassion for those who struggle, love for those who hurt and hope for those who try.

May we all free our hearts of hatred, greed, pride, jealousy, anger and hate and make room for love, compassion, joy, forgiveness, and hope.

May we learn to truly love our neighbor....for those who won't allow us to, may we have the strength to move on with our lives without them and hope that through our example they'll find their way back.

Thank you to all those who have and continue to support and inspire me to try harder every day!!

Love,
Lissa

I GOT THE JOB!!

I am feeling so very blessed and excited right now... I interviewed for the Wax Specialist position this morning at European Wax Center in Chandler and I got the job!!  I absolutely love this industry and can't wait to start building my clientele.  :)  I'll go through their training they provide, September 24th-29th, from 9am-6pm and then once completed I start working!!  I know.  I know.  Lots of exclamation points, but I can't tell you how grateful I am to start working so soon after being licensed and so soon after leaving my soon-to-be ex-husband and moving back to Arizona with just the clothes on my back.  As a parent, it is beyond comforting to know you will be able to provide for your children.  I've come a long way and the journey has not been easy, but I know once I hold my sweet little boy in my arms it will all be worth it and it will all make sense.

To all you parents out there.... keep up the good fight!  I know at times it's hard.  In ways I don't even know about yet, but I know with all of my heart that it is all worth it.  Every struggle, every tantrum, every tear, every heartache, every hurt will all be worth every precious moment with our children.  The Lord has blessed us with these sweet little ones and as long as we keep moving forward and do all we can for them, teach them and protect them, then we will be blessed for it.

My heart is full.

Liss